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Do all relationship come with a past ?

I walked …down the alley blemished with my own conflicting thoughts. No one to stand by …the only companion with me today is my pain. I look around searching for any sight of a human, but there is none. I can just hear my heart and the roaring sound of the sea in the remoteness. My call for expressing myself is so intense; that I keep walking in anticipation that I would surely come across someone near the sea…someone with whom the exchange of thoughts would bring back the tranquility. I try walking faster...Its getting late and the darkness around is scaring me…The sea is near …yes it is …I can sense the salt laden gentle wind touching my face. I pace up and arrive at the shore. I am sweating profusely but that’s not what am anxious about …I need to find someone …I need someone to hear me.

As if god could feel my pain I saw someone in the far end sitting on the rocks, without even getting concerned who the person was I start running it’s the only living soul I had come across since hours. And it’s always easier to convey things to a stranger because they would never judge you by your past. And it’s my past that I was actually nervous about.

I reach her breathing deeply… she is a girl barely of twenty five, she had striking hair even the breeze was playfully flirting around with it ,and it was beautifully rising and falling on her face. There was certain calmness in her face unlike mine. And I thought I found the elucidation to all my questions. With my heart beats getting faster …I slowly touched her shoulders and the only sound that could come out of my dry mouth was a “Hello”. She looked up startled as if awaken from a deep slumber and kept blandly looking at me. We looked at each other for several seconds…may be minutes because I was besieged to start the conversation. What will I say her …will she think I am out of my mind and disturbing her…but I had to do it right… yes I had to its because of this… I had traveled so far alone. Even after assuring self several times the only thing that could come out of me was I need to talk. She smiled and I knew she was the one …she will take me out of my twinge. I started talking …

No it was just questions out of my mind…why do I have so much pain to encounter…why its always me…why cant I live beyond my past …months before when I had shifted to this place; I was so sure that this was it I had my share of pain now I have to look beyond the past and carve a beautiful future for myself. And I was doing fine till he walked into my life again. Bringing back all that I have been trying to bury within me! Who gave him the right to come back hadn’t he taken his decision long time back… that I wasn’t a part of his life anymore. He took his decision and I wasn’t ever asked how I felt about the separation, I walked out silently never ever questioning his credibility his …decisions then why had he come back?

He said …he needed me these months had broken him into pieces …he wanted me to amalgate all his pieces and make him complete again. Could I trust him all over again…he was the person who had said I was an useless part of his life which he wanted to be removed as soon as possible. I was a hindrance to his much celebrated ambitious plans to make it big in the world. And I left him …not because I was angry but because I realized he would be happier if I let him go …and that’s what he wanted…
The words were just tumbling out of my mouth and the girl was silently listening to me through my tears. …I looked at her as if I knew she would know all the answers. For seconds she was quiet and I was really getting impatient. But when she spoke her voice had a divine insight…she said Pain is an introduction to a beautiful life ahead…If you haven’t seen pain then you would never feel the essence of happiness. Long ago when you felt you were inseparable you had chances to doubt your own feelings and that’s what happened with him .He thought he would do without you, he called you a futile part because gradually he was feeling you to be one. The severance pulled you apart the pain was unbearable for both …but it gave him a difficult time he couldn’t be the practical one that he always acclaimed about. Yes, he couldn’t even when you were miles apart you remained to be a part of each other bleeding, crying in your respective parts of the world.

You should now love him not because you know how it’s to be loved but you have witnessed how it feels in its absence. And, its then that the charm of love actually blossoms.Every relationship come with their past …yes they do and this whole experience of separation would blend into your past one day and you would walk into the future to make it a beautiful one.Dont repent that it happened be happy that life choose you over others to experience a reality of life. It’s this disturbing facet of life that makes life worth living. You have grown with the pain …become a part of his life that he cant do without…and you have an assured love filled life ahead isn’t that enough to take you through this life. Her answers were like the first drops of rain in a drought stricken place… I was slowly calming down I got all my answers. How beautifully did she explain me about life? I wanted to know more about her now… how selfish I had been? I started talking my life out to her without bothering to know her name or ask her why was she alone in this place. Seeing me lost in my thoughts she had walked away…I would see her tender body across the night sky. I shouted to catch her attention but there was no answer … my voice reverberated back. She kept walking till I could see no more of her. Silently closing my eyes I muttered “Bless her”…and for the first time I felt the breeze and it was heavenly…


Vasanth G.Benjamin said...

Yes, Love does with a past, and that past in someway was what ruined my relationship... She never made peace with her past and that resulted in heated assumptions and painful suspicions which really broke me down. She always thought I would end up being like someone from her past. I guess unless couples make peace with their past, there is no way for a relationship to endure success.

Trust and devotions alone feeds true love and unless these are there, nothing can help a relationship.

Good luck and Prayers

The Perfect ...One said...

Very true some stage in life..we have to compromise with our past and move on...otherwise we ruin our life ...I am sorry to hear about what happened you..but trust me God blesses everyone with true love and I am sure you will get yours !

Thanx for sharing such a beautiful thought on my post ...any such things are always a welcome !

God bless..:)

Hotcakes said...

what a lovely but saddening post :(

you know, missing someone turns from pain to pleasure, when you know he misses you to :)

Hotcakes said...

and for the other commenter.. i guess. its because when you have loved someone it really doesn't go away.

that love might be a different kind of love already, but they will always have a special space it our hearts.

that's where TRUST and HONESTY comes to our rescue :)

namit said...

"she had striking hair even the breeze was playfully flirting around with it"
very well written...kinda ornamental style of writin...enjoyed it..

she had striking hair even the breeze was playfully flirting around with it

xyzandme said...

Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery.. Today is a gift.. Thats why its called a present..

-- Tortoise, Kungfu panda

Only if everyone thought on the same lines..
Our brains tend to waste the today thinking about either what had happen or what is gonna happen .. instead of what is happening..

The Perfect ...One said...

@ Hotcakes...."True ..and the change from Pain to pleasure is a great feeling in itself ....:)

The Perfect ...One said...

Thanx...Namit for such beautiful words ....:)

The Perfect ...One said...

@ Xyzand me...Dear is just filled with phases ...pain can not always prevail neither can happiness prevail forever ...its matter of patience that right things come to us !..."If a person is no longer part of our lives it means he/she doesnt deserve to be a part !

xyzandme said...

Dont you think thats like saying.. the grapes are sour?

The Perfect ...One said...

Not at all dear ...i just wanna say..."give priority 2 sum1 ..who knows ..u ..understands u ...and loves u ...Not some1 ...who is just present for the sake of being there !...lIFE rEAlly Gives us a taste of everything !...But we have 2 wait for pain to end and love 2 begin ....":)

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