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         Past has space for your memories ...not your dreams !

Love is in the moments !

He looked at me with tears:’why didn’t you tell me?’

She: Because, I never wanted you to be upset.

He questions. ‘How will I live?’

She: Like always happy, content and with people who love you.

He: What about you?

She:’I will be gone soon’

He:’ I didn’t know this could happen,

She: Neither did I, just have a year now....

He: Please don’t say, this I can give up everything to have you next to me.

She:  You didn’t feel this when you had me, I waited for your love

He: I always loved you,

She: Life is lived in moments; my death makes you realise the dearth of time you have with me.

He: I know there’s so less time

She: I am happy; at least have a year to be with you, it’s better than those years I spent waiting for you to acknowledge my presence and love

He: I didn’t know this would happen

She : Neither did I ...

One Night's Affair

2:30 am, boozed I walk over to the bathroom; suddenly the night is ripped by a muffled shriek of a child. I regain my consciousness and come in terms with my thoughts. I hear it again, this time marked by pain. I look out of the lone bathroom window from the apartment. A man guffaws in the darkness and in the split of the nightly moment someone is stabbed. The dim street light and drizzling rain introduces me to the murder’s eyes. I look on, with numbness and vengeance as I see a child brutally stabbed and cut down to pieces.
I rush into the room in sweat; huffing and breathing noisily I cover myself in sheets. The drop-lets of water from the dysfunctional air-conditioner bugged me, it was as if that sound would give away what I saw, and I was the invisible party to the brutal killing of that child. I fall asleep.
Morning marks its arrival; 5:00 am I look on from the lone bathroom window again. A mid-age man in white track pants sashays down the street for his morning walk, snubbing now and then over the drop of muddy water that make their way to his white track pants from the puddles on way. The three black dogs seemingly unbothered of the transactions ogle at the passerby from under that Omfed booth. I see a father and son trying to balance a banana hand over a rusted cycle.

I breathe slowly and close my eyes no one knows, no one knows about what happened last night. But, when my eyes travel again I located a young couple, under the banyan tree pleading vehemently to the local deity.  They are cursing, the police, who stands unmoved and annoyed of their lost sleep.

I see an old man in blue lungi limping out of the dilapidated railway workshop; with one hand he holds one end of his lungi briefly displaying a flash of his wrinkled skin as he walks on. He has a stick in another hand, though he doesn’t use that for support but tries to man oeuvre the traffic that has just begun. He walked towards the couple, bowing down to touch his slippers now and then. The old man pacifies the girl I can sense it from above. Yes, he is pacifying the couple over their loss. It’s the human empathy that is so inevitable. People not party to your pain can always be there with you to share the pain.

In split of a second, the old man looks towards my bathroom window and our eyes meet from the far end corner. I am taken aback, it’s him, and he had the murder’s eyes. I lean on the dampy bathroom wall, for support, walk out make myself a coffee and liberate the imagery of the murder.

 No one knows, no one knows except the old man, the dead boy and me, it was as if we had built a silent triangulated relationship in a night’s affair.


4:00 am I open my laptop the icon on the other end predicted snow-fall for seconds my heart stopped. I closed my eyes and the thought brushed passed me I am back in India and it had been two and half years to it now. It’s just the nostalgic moments you have within you that don’t end the pandemonium. And, every now and then they ooze out in anticipation of a rebound.
Life is harsh, but if it would have been so easy would it be worth living in the first place?
Gospel predicts the irony again... no its not the imagery of the flakes its the rain...impending rain
My mind wanders away again.....Life had been so different from the way I had dream t it to be.

Not all Love Stories are perfect

Life is scheming when you get what you want still you don’t get the requisite time to live the moment. Lying on the bed draped in sheets a tear rolls down to presage the pain, anxiety my heart was breeding within. I knew this fear would end soon ,but same would my world.I just tried hard to relive the memoirs of my life.A striking life till Everything ended abruptly.

Life began so beautifully why didn’t it end the same way? 

The flash of our first meeting bounced into my heart; And for the first time I smiled to myself after ages.I was rushing through the steaming crowd at Holborn Station. It was ten past nine my shift at Starbucks Coffee shop had already begun .Swarming through the crowd of workaholics, I bumped into someone.”Oops sorry! I’m just late for my work! I say .The stranger on other end just smiles back at me and retorts...Sweetheart its ok...Hope you make it on time!. We smile and move on in opposite directions. Riya that’s me I smile to myself when will I stop bumping into people? The day passed by smoothly but I was still locked in that strangers dreams.

The next day while crusading through the crowds at the escalator in Holborn I frantically searched for that unknown face. Not finding made me sad. Suddenly I twirl around to see my georgette dupatta flying and touching someone’s face behind me.My heart beats take a thousand leaps its him.The moment he sees me he says your dupatta on my face made me experience bolly wood scenes in Alps of Switzerland …I giggle and stare at his innocent face. He introduces himself as Karan, working in a bank in high end Holborn. 

One conversation leads to another and we get used to meeting each other for coffee, at pubs and build a session of late night conversations.

 We were silently walking into a dream. Standing out in the rainy streets with red roses one day he gave me the most memorable day of my life! He asked me to be his and I nodded .Without thinking that there was a life that I had left behind, I was supposed to have an arranged marriage.Which had been fixed long before I left for my study abroad .But did me ever realize that life would be in such a state of whirlpool after I met Karan? He was my love .So; I gave up my family and marriage to be him. Just, being with him made such huge difference to me.
We just wanted our life to begin as soon as possible so we married the same weekend.Life was beautiful as I was feeling. For people around we became the most god- made couple. We were just madly in love ,a love which came late to me.But Karan had been a flirtatious person being brought up in Britain ,he kind of had that English blood even when the heart was Indian. He had a series of one night stands, flings before he met me and I would often joke at him saying “So, the Casanova tasted true love”. And he would cuddle me within him and kiss my face ceaselessly saying because you were so tempting darling resisting you became difficult your looks minced my heart baby.

We would plan our lives together and we both craved for a daughter whom we wanted to name Tanya .Our world revolved around a non-existent Tanya .How we could pamper her.How we would love her and thoughts about her became our world.True Love burns the brightest, but the brightest flames always leave the deepest scars. After a wonderful honeymoon spell in Mauritius the doctor confirmed that I had cancer. Just two months into marital bliss the world comes to a stand still .I being in my last stage of cancer will just have three months to live. Karan frantically searched for a way to keep me alive But I was already getting the sinking feeling within I knew I was losing my fight against the malady.
In these last few months the thoughts of Tanya was what kept me cheerful we would spend long hours talking about her when we knew she would never become a reality? I was leaving my life behind and the pain was unbearable

I left my body that night.

But my soul still aches when I witness Karan from far above strangled in a corner he lies in asylum. He lost himself the day I left him.It’s said Love is stronger than death. Death can’t stop love from happening .Even death however hard death it tries it cant separate two people in Love.
 Death ends the Life not the Relationship! 
So there he was crying and dying every second in the recollections of our Love and keeping our relationship alive!

Not all Love Stories are perfect! isnt it ?

Photo credits: Devendra Purbiya Photography

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