The morning hues

Destiny has its call they say !

 I smiled in my seclusion,Its not
that I had never been happy,but it was this happiness that was different that I feared losing it.I found a friend! Well then what’s new in that I already had friends the more I thought the more confused I became. To stop my surreal state I started feeding myself with negative thoughts explaining .May be he would be talking to a fresh new chick now! Without even half bothering whether I existed and here I was dancing in the galore that I found a friend!

Lost for the night I didn’t know when sleep seeped in But I woke up with anxiety, to the shouts to my mother leaving for work. I didn’t want to wake up , its this fight with feelings in the morning that you require a little more sleep that takes a toll. But then it was this sudden thought of  Vishal that, I jumped abruptly to search my laptop. It wasn’t any romantic inclination that I felt or anything but just a thought that he was my friend!  There was this strong sense of trust I had developed on him overnight. I repeated again to myself he was MY friend.

Through clouded eyes I frantically searched and looked for offlines and messages .I scrolled down twice and finally found his messages …

U ther dear …
Buzz me wen u cum Online..
Im waiting!

I read …re read the message two three times and fell on the bed with a thud should I or shouldn't I buzz him what would he think about me a" despo"
No I wasn't one I was just a nice girl who cared about him and wanted him as my friend….was there anything wrong in that ?Confused I scrolled down his profile to view what other messages he had if there was some other girl who had sent him any lovey dovey message .I saw couple of " hi " and "hellos" but nothing that could make me doubt him .Hmmm…

Suddenly there was a pop up message saying “So u awake Baby”..I Was taken aback how did Vishal know I was online .Oops these technologies sometimes when you don’t want any one to know , it tells the world that You are there.

Minutes before I was desperately expecting his message On seeing him online I compose my self and reply back “Yeh Im Online "why is that a problem? "I didn’t want to give him any hint of that fact that the first time I talked and I fell for his appealing ways .We talk and talk its about 11 in the morning now again I gave in to his amicable ways four complete hours and we had been talking non stop OMG I had a college to attend

I rush off explaining would get back later ! He asks for my number and I log out scared , would it be just exchanging number.




Read Part One of my series "Destined Date with Destiny" here
http://preetiprada.blogspot.in/2012/08/destined-date-with-destiny.html



                                      

Destined Date with Destiny

It's amazing how much pain your love has to feel and how many tears you have to shed in order to convey that you really didn’t mean any harm….”

For half of you wondering who am I to concoct such a philosophical tenet ? Well I conjecture how to portray my true self ! I it’s a strong word in itself...Full of the epitomized ego, pressured passions, vindictive vengeance. And all our lives we often gyrate in search of its true denotation and essence.

I really didn’t know who to cater these thoughts; when all the people in the world shut their ears to your woes there you search the shoulder of a stranger to cry out the anguished suppressed cries! There’s so much to my life ,But, I wanted to appreciate how the little emotions make and break the motion of life.Sitting within the four walls I lurk unrecognized of my ambitions.Watching the calendar dance to the rhythm of the air circulated by the creaking fan above. My mind becomes impatient and void at regular intervals. 

He didn’t know what I went through each day to understand my pain ; but then even I wasn’t around the times he has been crashing down in pain since last one year.We both succumbed to this weird functioning of our fate. Four years ago among couple of friend requests in the social networking site I stumbled upon him. It was a bizarre cross of destiny because I was a “walled girl” essentially; I didn’t acknowledge strangers stooping into my life. I didn’t have time to make new friends  because I couldn’t give time to the already existing ones. That’s when I say his fluke that I clicked “Yes” in confirmation of friendship request. Within seconds I see a message thanking me of being his friend! I looked at the screen juxtaposed whether to reply or leave it otherwise but the display picture caught my eye. There he was smiling and the calmness of the eyes charmed me into replying.

I did reply with an air of attitude saying its ok,and then the conversation flowed in. Thinking my first reply to be the last message for the day what I saw ...I was locked in talk with this stranger for five long hours. We talked liked kindergarten friends, giggling over the messenger. I closed my eyes and said that’s it , it’s a mere fascination of meeting a new person that’s why I got lost into his world. Composing my feminity I stop myself from replying any further.I log out intentionally saying“Have work catch Ya later”!
I Stare…again and again …before pressing that enter and then finally press it.

To end this strange happiness that I was feeling.
There were a series of messages after that, he kept asking when would I be online again, "give me a time please I shall wait! Please be there I need to talk!"
 Scared of his charming ways I stare simply stare!

And shut the system altogether.