Not all Love Stories are perfect

Life is scheming when you get what you want still you don’t get the requisite time to live the moment. Lying on the bed draped in sheets a tear rolls down to presage the pain, anxiety my heart was breeding within. I knew this fear would end soon ,but same would my world.I just tried hard to relive the memoirs of my life.A striking life till Everything ended abruptly.

Life began so beautifully why didn’t it end the same way? 


The flash of our first meeting bounced into my heart; And for the first time I smiled to myself after ages.I was rushing through the steaming crowd at Holborn Station. It was ten past nine my shift at Starbucks Coffee shop had already begun .Swarming through the crowd of workaholics, I bumped into someone.”Oops sorry! I’m just late for my work! I say .The stranger on other end just smiles back at me and retorts...Sweetheart its ok...Hope you make it on time!. We smile and move on in opposite directions. Riya that’s me I smile to myself when will I stop bumping into people? The day passed by smoothly but I was still locked in that strangers dreams.

The next day while crusading through the crowds at the escalator in Holborn I frantically searched for that unknown face. Not finding made me sad. Suddenly I twirl around to see my georgette dupatta flying and touching someone’s face behind me.My heart beats take a thousand leaps its him.The moment he sees me he says your dupatta on my face made me experience bolly wood scenes in Alps of Switzerland …I giggle and stare at his innocent face. He introduces himself as Karan, working in a bank in high end Holborn. 

One conversation leads to another and we get used to meeting each other for coffee, at pubs and build a session of late night conversations.

 We were silently walking into a dream. Standing out in the rainy streets with red roses one day he gave me the most memorable day of my life! He asked me to be his and I nodded .Without thinking that there was a life that I had left behind, I was supposed to have an arranged marriage.Which had been fixed long before I left for my study abroad .But did me ever realize that life would be in such a state of whirlpool after I met Karan? He was my love .So; I gave up my family and marriage to be him. Just, being with him made such huge difference to me.

We just wanted our life to begin as soon as possible so we married the same weekend.Life was beautiful as I was feeling. For people around we became the most god- made couple. We were just madly in love ,a love which came late to me.But Karan had been a flirtatious person being brought up in Britain ,he kind of had that English blood even when the heart was Indian. He had a series of one night stands, flings before he met me and I would often joke at him saying “So, the Casanova tasted true love”. And he would cuddle me within him and kiss my face ceaselessly saying because you were so tempting darling resisting you became difficult your looks minced my heart baby.

We would plan our lives together and we both craved for a daughter whom we wanted to name Tanya .Our world revolved around a non-existent Tanya .How we could pamper her.How we would love her and thoughts about her became our world.True Love burns the brightest, but the brightest flames always leave the deepest scars. After a wonderful honeymoon spell in Mauritius the doctor confirmed that I had cancer. Just two months into marital bliss the world comes to a stand still .I being in my last stage of cancer will just have three months to live. Karan frantically searched for a way to keep me alive But I was already getting the sinking feeling within I knew I was losing my fight against the malady.

In these last few months the thoughts of Tanya was what kept me cheerful we would spend long hours talking about her when we knew she would never become a reality? I was leaving my life behind and the pain was unbearable

I left my body that night.

But my soul still aches when I witness Karan from far above strangled in a corner he lies in asylum. He lost himself the day I left him.It’s said Love is stronger than death. Death can’t stop love from happening .Even death however hard death it tries it cant separate two people in Love.

 Death ends the Life not the Relationship! 

So there he was crying and dying every second in the recollections of our Love and keeping our relationship alive!

Not all Love Stories are perfect! isnt it ?

Photo credits: Devendra Purbiya Photography

I'M NOT OKAY

            They say real love never sheds blood, where were these drops of blood leading me then?

Thunder cracked in the nearby field, enclosed in the dark room, I submerged my muffled cries in the pillow. The clock stuck two, I look into the darkness with that sense of numbness .For the first time in 12 hours of our fight I wasn’t feeling anything ,I had cried all my heart out, I had panicked ,I had been scared and all that had made me numb now.

He was so calm days back, suddenly that submerged anger ruptured him and he was violent like always. He screamed abuses at me, called me filthy, questioned my links with other guys in my life, fiercely called me a waste of time. I pleaded a sorry into the phone a numerous time over but the only thing that mattered to him was an appraisal of his mannish ego he went on and on and I had only a right of silence.

I looked into the darkness why was I bearing all this pain why did I ever need to live my life in accordance to his doctrines? Couldn’t I just walk out of this relationship? But there was no relationship in this place it was a friendship gone violent, a dear and close aid some time back he took over my life in  name of safety and now he empowered it. He questioned my interaction? He questioned the way I dressed, he questioned my smile, and he questioned  ME  infinite times over? He said he cared for me ...he said he loved me ...and now he was killing me.

Ending me seemed the only option tonight! As always he said if I shared all this things with anyone he would kill them but tonight he said he would kill the person who was my love! I can’t see my love dying I can’t be responsible for this fanaticism that this man had towards me. To end that vicious approach towards love, to end that violence that he called love, I called it quits.... with drops of blood slowly covering the floor my eyes close to en capture the tears within them forever.

Photo credits:Fotofoundation.com