Not all Love Stories are perfect

Life is scheming when you get what you want still you don’t get the requisite time to live the moment. Lying on the bed draped in sheets a tear rolls down to presage the pain, anxiety my heart was breeding within. I knew this fear would end soon ,but same would my world.I just tried hard to relive the memoirs of my life.A striking life till Everything ended abruptly.

Life began so beautifully why didn’t it end the same way? 


The flash of our first meeting bounced into my heart; And for the first time I smiled to myself after ages.I was rushing through the steaming crowd at Holborn Station. It was ten past nine my shift at Starbucks Coffee shop had already begun .Swarming through the crowd of workaholics, I bumped into someone.”Oops sorry! I’m just late for my work! I say .The stranger on other end just smiles back at me and retorts...Sweetheart its ok...Hope you make it on time!. We smile and move on in opposite directions. Riya that’s me I smile to myself when will I stop bumping into people? The day passed by smoothly but I was still locked in that strangers dreams.

The next day while crusading through the crowds at the escalator in Holborn I frantically searched for that unknown face. Not finding made me sad. Suddenly I twirl around to see my georgette dupatta flying and touching someone’s face behind me.My heart beats take a thousand leaps its him.The moment he sees me he says your dupatta on my face made me experience bolly wood scenes in Alps of Switzerland …I giggle and stare at his innocent face. He introduces himself as Karan, working in a bank in high end Holborn. 

One conversation leads to another and we get used to meeting each other for coffee, at pubs and build a session of late night conversations.

 We were silently walking into a dream. Standing out in the rainy streets with red roses one day he gave me the most memorable day of my life! He asked me to be his and I nodded .Without thinking that there was a life that I had left behind, I was supposed to have an arranged marriage.Which had been fixed long before I left for my study abroad .But did me ever realize that life would be in such a state of whirlpool after I met Karan? He was my love .So; I gave up my family and marriage to be him. Just, being with him made such huge difference to me.

We just wanted our life to begin as soon as possible so we married the same weekend.Life was beautiful as I was feeling. For people around we became the most god- made couple. We were just madly in love ,a love which came late to me.But Karan had been a flirtatious person being brought up in Britain ,he kind of had that English blood even when the heart was Indian. He had a series of one night stands, flings before he met me and I would often joke at him saying “So, the Casanova tasted true love”. And he would cuddle me within him and kiss my face ceaselessly saying because you were so tempting darling resisting you became difficult your looks minced my heart baby.

We would plan our lives together and we both craved for a daughter whom we wanted to name Tanya .Our world revolved around a non-existent Tanya .How we could pamper her.How we would love her and thoughts about her became our world.True Love burns the brightest, but the brightest flames always leave the deepest scars. After a wonderful honeymoon spell in Mauritius the doctor confirmed that I had cancer. Just two months into marital bliss the world comes to a stand still .I being in my last stage of cancer will just have three months to live. Karan frantically searched for a way to keep me alive But I was already getting the sinking feeling within I knew I was losing my fight against the malady.

In these last few months the thoughts of Tanya was what kept me cheerful we would spend long hours talking about her when we knew she would never become a reality? I was leaving my life behind and the pain was unbearable

I left my body that night.

But my soul still aches when I witness Karan from far above strangled in a corner he lies in asylum. He lost himself the day I left him.It’s said Love is stronger than death. Death can’t stop love from happening .Even death however hard death it tries it cant separate two people in Love.

 Death ends the Life not the Relationship! 

So there he was crying and dying every second in the recollections of our Love and keeping our relationship alive!

Not all Love Stories are perfect! isnt it ?

Photo credits: Devendra Purbiya Photography

Passion..

I dream to follow my passion …but I am scared of the tug of war my heart and head are playing !

Dream...

I have a dream....and I want to live it !

She

Ripped by the reality of life she got conscious of the two sides of her!
She was a blend of emotions; whose heart cried out when she saw the world in pain. She cried with the child …who lost his childhood; she cried as the world was besieged by terrorism, she cried when a girl was dragged on the streets by goons. Walking down the phases of her life …she believed the world was a part of her... she loved it, cherished it …and nurtured it as her own! She dreamt to see the world dipped in happiness and hope…she dreamt to see a content soul! And she survived just to see the world thrive! …on its own …
But …what was she on the other side? A selfish spirit whose heart craved for more! Who dreamt to see herself as a winning spree? Who just survived to see herself free, the world’s pain was not hers, the world’s tribulations didn’t belong to her…She was the woman of the new genre whose only belief was to rule the world…Whose sustenance was reciprocal to her success. Whose interactions were just a way of life, whose winnings made her smile!
Whose was she …in reality …who was she?
I believe…………………………………….She was just me!

Sharpened Pencil

Why am I feeling this… my mind is so mystified …Why things that seemed so right at one point of time? Baffles me now. ~ How many times have I actually tried to be that sharpened pencil? The one that is the perfect blend of simplicity and excellence. But still he says I need to better myself because he wants the best! I have tried hard enough, I still do to do the things the way he wants, the way he want me to conduct myself, the way he wants me to converse, but that’s not me. Seriously that’s not me. The little tiny things that I thought were part of me… the true essence of my personality he thinks should have melted with years! I should have been someone different by now …Is he right?
The voice within me answers back Yes may be …He has always been the one who knows it all …He just seems to do things so perfectly! But I struggle to balance myself and the food in a restaurant! How I hate those high heels and would kick them off whenever I got an occasion. How much I loved walking bare foot on grasses! How much I loved dancing to the tunes of the rain …But that’s not what I am supposed to be doing…I am a girl of 23 I shouldn’t be doing that! I should be poised and complete role replica for the kids around me not to be a kid myself! So I feel I am loosing out some part of me!
But being with him has actually made the big difference…its made me a better person, I have learnt so much in order to give him my best I would just travel that extra mile for him which I would have lovingly procrastinated otherwise. He taught me to love myself, He created in me a sense of pride that I should have for myself, and He taught me that the world looks up to those who believe in themselves .He made me love my present, forget my past and be assured about my future.
So, what am I complaining about….????? The fact that he always wants the best…No he actually made me what I always dreamt of being but could never make myself do all that! He has been with me through the most difficult times and even promises to be with me forever …He is the one who gives me strength to face the world … He is harsh sometimes because he knows that if sharpened this Pencil would be near to best! Even the most brilliantly shinning diamond has to pass through the sharpest cuts isn’t that what gives it the beautiful luster! So, I am right very right! He is the Perfect one for me! And I am his not so perfect one! (You see I am still trying to better myself!)

Love is not about finding that guy who can love you for what you are. But someone who can make you what you always wanted to be…Its someone who knows your flaws asks you to clear it off but still loves you even when you have done a mistake for a 100th time. So as the story goes God just knows it all he blends two dissimilar people together and he just knows they would be the finest together!♥