Not all Love Stories are perfect

Life is scheming when you get what you want still you don’t get the requisite time to live the moment. Lying on the bed draped in sheets a tear rolls down to presage the pain, anxiety my heart was breeding within. I knew this fear would end soon ,but same would my world.I just tried hard to relive the memoirs of my life.A striking life till Everything ended abruptly.

Life began so beautifully why didn’t it end the same way? 


The flash of our first meeting bounced into my heart; And for the first time I smiled to myself after ages.I was rushing through the steaming crowd at Holborn Station. It was ten past nine my shift at Starbucks Coffee shop had already begun .Swarming through the crowd of workaholics, I bumped into someone.”Oops sorry! I’m just late for my work! I say .The stranger on other end just smiles back at me and retorts...Sweetheart its ok...Hope you make it on time!. We smile and move on in opposite directions. Riya that’s me I smile to myself when will I stop bumping into people? The day passed by smoothly but I was still locked in that strangers dreams.

The next day while crusading through the crowds at the escalator in Holborn I frantically searched for that unknown face. Not finding made me sad. Suddenly I twirl around to see my georgette dupatta flying and touching someone’s face behind me.My heart beats take a thousand leaps its him.The moment he sees me he says your dupatta on my face made me experience bolly wood scenes in Alps of Switzerland …I giggle and stare at his innocent face. He introduces himself as Karan, working in a bank in high end Holborn. 

One conversation leads to another and we get used to meeting each other for coffee, at pubs and build a session of late night conversations.

 We were silently walking into a dream. Standing out in the rainy streets with red roses one day he gave me the most memorable day of my life! He asked me to be his and I nodded .Without thinking that there was a life that I had left behind, I was supposed to have an arranged marriage.Which had been fixed long before I left for my study abroad .But did me ever realize that life would be in such a state of whirlpool after I met Karan? He was my love .So; I gave up my family and marriage to be him. Just, being with him made such huge difference to me.

We just wanted our life to begin as soon as possible so we married the same weekend.Life was beautiful as I was feeling. For people around we became the most god- made couple. We were just madly in love ,a love which came late to me.But Karan had been a flirtatious person being brought up in Britain ,he kind of had that English blood even when the heart was Indian. He had a series of one night stands, flings before he met me and I would often joke at him saying “So, the Casanova tasted true love”. And he would cuddle me within him and kiss my face ceaselessly saying because you were so tempting darling resisting you became difficult your looks minced my heart baby.

We would plan our lives together and we both craved for a daughter whom we wanted to name Tanya .Our world revolved around a non-existent Tanya .How we could pamper her.How we would love her and thoughts about her became our world.True Love burns the brightest, but the brightest flames always leave the deepest scars. After a wonderful honeymoon spell in Mauritius the doctor confirmed that I had cancer. Just two months into marital bliss the world comes to a stand still .I being in my last stage of cancer will just have three months to live. Karan frantically searched for a way to keep me alive But I was already getting the sinking feeling within I knew I was losing my fight against the malady.

In these last few months the thoughts of Tanya was what kept me cheerful we would spend long hours talking about her when we knew she would never become a reality? I was leaving my life behind and the pain was unbearable

I left my body that night.

But my soul still aches when I witness Karan from far above strangled in a corner he lies in asylum. He lost himself the day I left him.It’s said Love is stronger than death. Death can’t stop love from happening .Even death however hard death it tries it cant separate two people in Love.

 Death ends the Life not the Relationship! 

So there he was crying and dying every second in the recollections of our Love and keeping our relationship alive!

Not all Love Stories are perfect! isnt it ?

Photo credits: Devendra Purbiya Photography

Muted Soul

                                   I peeped into my agony and decided I await for the time 

The only sound that gave me company was the breathing of my soul, in the far end I heard a distant thunder. Tear drops rolling down..Monsoon was always my favorite time ,today I loved it more the pattering of the rain drops subsided the noise of my crying and confined it to the room. I didnt want my pain to wander around,when you are in a family you have to think more than just yourself.

How could I not cry for others it was just a break-up while for me it was a relationship to which I gave my 7 years.I had cultivated every moment to make it memorable !

They said why didn't I smile ?

 They said I had to move on ?

 They said I had to be me !

 But they weren't the ones who lost him the way I did.

Then how could they say everything will be back to normal.

How can everything will be normal and be back ? How can it be ? Drapped in those breath taking shots of agony I was lost ..Simply lost ..

The tears turned my constant ally and I learnt to be numb. And mourn the death of this relationship.

Photo credits :lovingphotography.wordpress.com

Do all relationship come with a past ?

I walked …down the alley blemished with my own conflicting thoughts. No one to stand by …the only companion with me today is my pain. I look around searching for any sight of a human, but there is none. I can just hear my heart and the roaring sound of the sea in the remoteness. My call for expressing myself is so intense; that I keep walking in anticipation that I would surely come across someone near the sea…someone with whom the exchange of thoughts would bring back the tranquility. I try walking faster...Its getting late and the darkness around is scaring me…The sea is near …yes it is …I can sense the salt laden gentle wind touching my face. I pace up and arrive at the shore. I am sweating profusely but that’s not what am anxious about …I need to find someone …I need someone to hear me.

As if god could feel my pain I saw someone in the far end sitting on the rocks, without even getting concerned who the person was I start running it’s the only living soul I had come across since hours. And it’s always easier to convey things to a stranger because they would never judge you by your past. And it’s my past that I was actually nervous about.

I reach her breathing deeply… she is a girl barely of twenty five, she had striking hair even the breeze was playfully flirting around with it ,and it was beautifully rising and falling on her face. There was certain calmness in her face unlike mine. And I thought I found the elucidation to all my questions. With my heart beats getting faster …I slowly touched her shoulders and the only sound that could come out of my dry mouth was a “Hello”. She looked up startled as if awaken from a deep slumber and kept blandly looking at me. We looked at each other for several seconds…may be minutes because I was besieged to start the conversation. What will I say her …will she think I am out of my mind and disturbing her…but I had to do it right… yes I had to its because of this… I had traveled so far alone. Even after assuring self several times the only thing that could come out of me was I need to talk. She smiled and I knew she was the one …she will take me out of my twinge. I started talking …

No it was just questions out of my mind…why do I have so much pain to encounter…why its always me…why cant I live beyond my past …months before when I had shifted to this place; I was so sure that this was it I had my share of pain now I have to look beyond the past and carve a beautiful future for myself. And I was doing fine till he walked into my life again. Bringing back all that I have been trying to bury within me! Who gave him the right to come back hadn’t he taken his decision long time back… that I wasn’t a part of his life anymore. He took his decision and I wasn’t ever asked how I felt about the separation, I walked out silently never ever questioning his credibility his …decisions then why had he come back?

He said …he needed me these months had broken him into pieces …he wanted me to amalgate all his pieces and make him complete again. Could I trust him all over again…he was the person who had said I was an useless part of his life which he wanted to be removed as soon as possible. I was a hindrance to his much celebrated ambitious plans to make it big in the world. And I left him …not because I was angry but because I realized he would be happier if I let him go …and that’s what he wanted…
The words were just tumbling out of my mouth and the girl was silently listening to me through my tears. …I looked at her as if I knew she would know all the answers. For seconds she was quiet and I was really getting impatient. But when she spoke her voice had a divine insight…she said Pain is an introduction to a beautiful life ahead…If you haven’t seen pain then you would never feel the essence of happiness. Long ago when you felt you were inseparable you had chances to doubt your own feelings and that’s what happened with him .He thought he would do without you, he called you a futile part because gradually he was feeling you to be one. The severance pulled you apart the pain was unbearable for both …but it gave him a difficult time he couldn’t be the practical one that he always acclaimed about. Yes, he couldn’t even when you were miles apart you remained to be a part of each other bleeding, crying in your respective parts of the world.

You should now love him not because you know how it’s to be loved but you have witnessed how it feels in its absence. And, its then that the charm of love actually blossoms.Every relationship come with their past …yes they do and this whole experience of separation would blend into your past one day and you would walk into the future to make it a beautiful one.Dont repent that it happened be happy that life choose you over others to experience a reality of life. It’s this disturbing facet of life that makes life worth living. You have grown with the pain …become a part of his life that he cant do without…and you have an assured love filled life ahead isn’t that enough to take you through this life. Her answers were like the first drops of rain in a drought stricken place… I was slowly calming down I got all my answers. How beautifully did she explain me about life? I wanted to know more about her now… how selfish I had been? I started talking my life out to her without bothering to know her name or ask her why was she alone in this place. Seeing me lost in my thoughts she had walked away…I would see her tender body across the night sky. I shouted to catch her attention but there was no answer … my voice reverberated back. She kept walking till I could see no more of her. Silently closing my eyes I muttered “Bless her”…and for the first time I felt the breeze and it was heavenly…

The cherished possession

Is it something to do with the Arian instinct that he wins all the arguments! Or is it destiny that bestows him with all the good fortune. Well he always sabotages my opinions and finely weaves it into what he thinks is right….He dissect my thoughts...So well that he would know the words before they would be out of my mouth… sometimes I hate that feeling and sometimes love it as well…(*Confused what I actually feel about it )..Arguments with him are like the cross and zero game where I always reach a dead end... But does that trouble me…That I win or not …Highly optimistic as I am. I have always believed that it’s better to loose an argument than loose the relationship altogether…so I just let him be the winner always (** with special effects of my angelic smile).And he enjoys that feeling His creative zest steamed with practicality makes him just awesome …and its his these innate qualities that he makes me fall for him over and over…

I am not a counselor on human relationships nor an intellectual genius but …just a cognizant speaker. Who believes winning is not everything in life …
You might have the whole world on your finger tip but still crave to get the affection of a loved one. Because it’s always the human beings who matter over all the materialistic assets one acquires in life. I know it’s sometimes so hard curtailing the ego but …the bargain shall always yield a profitable margin in a relationship. In a world…where a bruised heart is rampantly found finding that one person who loves you unconditionally makes the difference. So when you find someone that great never lose them over trivial ego gratifications. Love the person who loves you and cherish them forever.